Did you know Oreos are no longer made with lard?

Did you know Oreos are no longer made with lard?

Oh, for crying out loud
Someone has trademarked the term ‘Let’s roll!‘ Tee Em.

Oh, for crying out loud
Someone has trademarked the term ‘Let’s roll!‘ Tee Em.

Machines for living
I bought the first few issues of self-styled lifestyle bible Wallpaper*, before their Time, Inc. windfall buyout in 1997. London newsagents didn’t know what to make of the magazine, and tended to shelve it in the DIY/Home repair section. I sympathized—could never tell if their posturing was laughing at me or with me. What can you expect from a 27-year-old editor with the improbably dashing name Tyler Brûlé?

Their concept architecture articles were great, though. They favored a small London firm called Softroom (who had never delivered a real commission at the time). I wanted to live in the Maison Canif:

‘Foldaway accomodation for the busy international jet-setter in the form of a giant swiss-army knife.The blades have been replaced by all the essential luxuries neccessary for modern living.
Rather than using the perimeter walls of a particular space to define the architecture, all functions are grouped into a single unit that could be deployed anywhere, such as a redundant office space. Primary functions are grouped around four corner pivots; living, eating, washing and sleeping. Telescopic ‘toothpick’ booms migrate around a perimeter track to provide dividing screens and additional lighting. ‘

I was reminded of Maison Canif by this New York Times piece on another London architectural experiment; the Piercy Connor microflat. For around $84,000, you get a 344-square-foot pod, which squeezes in a king-size bed, a sofa, a desk and a table that seats six. Elegant, multi-purpose, and central, with too little storage to clutter your life with stuff. Where do I sign?

I wasn’t smart enough to find Maison Canif on Wallpaper‘s fancy Flash web site, but Google rescued me eventually. Let my epitaph read: Skipped goddamn intro).

Roll up, roll up, the World Economic Forum circus has come to town. Barricades in Midtown, street closings, police everywhere. Echoes of last September.

‘Organizers of the New York demonstrations say they are planning peaceful gatherings and hope to avoid confrontations with police.

“I was in Seattle,” said one organizer, “and what we planned in Seattle is very similar to what we’re planning here for New York. We planned pageants, we planned puppetry and the police attacked us without provocation over and over and over in the streets.”

Mark observes that planned puppetry is provocation, as far as New Yorkers are concerned.

Bedebede
The space-retro Palm i705 is very Buck Rogers. Picture Twiki waddling along: ‘You’ve got mail, bedebede B-uck!’

I shall take a moment to listen to theme song. When the strings soar, I’ll think fondly of Gil Gerard sucking in his gut in a tight white jumpsuit. Bedebede.

One day at a time, sweet Jesus.
Chocolate problem especially bad today. Ingested many, many Baby Ruths. That Coolidge kid has a lot to answer for.

At lunchtime I went out to buy a toothbrush and toothpaste to brush my cravings away. But the bastards in Dirty Deli on 8th Ave. sold me bubblegum-flavored toothpaste, which is no help.

Munch.

Joe persuaded me it would be fun to fill out the Church of Scientology personality test over lunch and organize a field-trip to the 84th St branch to have our results analyzed by the Scientologists.

“The Oxford Capacity Analysis™ test (OCATM) is a professional personality test that uses 200 specially designed questions to provide an in-depth look at your personality. It will accurately show you both your strong points – so you can take advantage of them – and your problem areas – those things that are blocking your true potentials and happiness in life. Your results will be displayed on a graph like the one shown here, which rates you against 20 different personality traits.”

We love personality tests, Joe and I. It’s a symptom of our Myers-Briggs ENFP type. But this one was interminable and as humorless as Tom Cruise.

Yes, I chew my nails and/or pencils.
Yes, I “turn up the volume” on my emotions for effect.
No, I don’t browse through railway timetables, directories, or dictionaries just for pleasure.
No, I couldn’t agree to “strict discipline”.
No, I am not sometimes considered by others a “spoilsport”
No, I can’t stand this test any more.

So I think I failed the Dianetics personality test. This is a new low. Now I’ll never get Tom away from Penelope.

On the bright side, I did really well in that test that scores your intelligence based on how fast you realize there’s no end to the questions. Being a quitter is underrated.

Joe persuaded me it would be fun to fill out the Church of Scientology personality test over lunch and organize a field-trip to the 84th St branch to have our results analyzed by the Scientologists.

“The Oxford Capacity Analysis™ test (OCATM) is a professional personality test that uses 200 specially designed questions to provide an in-depth look at your personality. It will accurately show you both your strong points – so you can take advantage of them – and your problem areas – those things that are blocking your true potentials and happiness in life. Your results will be displayed on a graph like the one shown here, which rates you against 20 different personality traits.”

We love personality tests, Joe and I. It’s a symptom of our Myers-Briggs ENFP type. But this one was interminable and as humorless as Tom Cruise.

Yes, I chew my nails and/or pencils.
Yes, I “turn up the volume” on my emotions for effect.
No, I don’t browse through railway timetables, directories, or dictionaries just for pleasure.
No, I couldn’t agree to “strict discipline”.
No, I am not sometimes considered by others a “spoilsport”
No, I can’t stand this test any more.

So I think I failed the Dianetics personality test. This is a new low. Now I’ll never get Tom away from Penelope.

On the bright side, I did really well in that test that scores your intelligence based on how fast you realize there’s no end to the questions. Being a quitter is underrated.