Thought I was alone in my private Crunchie-eating fetish but I just received this link, which details a similarly elaborate ritual. Wow! This wonderful web, where furries and freaks find friends.

Gross Domestic Product
From the Cadbury’s Ireland website:

‘Ireland has the third highest consumption per capita of confectionery in the world! Irish consumers spend over £325 million annually on confectionery products and consumption is increasing at about three per cent every year.’

Jesus. £325 million divided by, um, not much more than 3.25 million people is a lot of moolah.

Mark told me there was a new shipment of Crunches in the office kitchen. For a brief, glorious moment, I thought he meant Crunchies—jaunty, shiny Cadbury’s Crunchies in gold wrappers. Crunchies that, if no one is around to be repulsed, I can slobber over until the honeycomb dissolves in a gooey chocolatey mess. But no. All we got was more drab, navy-blue Nestle Crunches, cooking chocolate in all but name. They will have to do.

Once again I tell you, American candy sucks. Not rocks.

The candy jar in our office kitchen is full of Butterfingers, which I hate. I am reduced to stray Jolly Ranchers.

American candy sucks.